my soul wont recognize me after tonight
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
