Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
