people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
