I wannas sexs uuuuu
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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