she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
