Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
