I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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