HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
