he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
