Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
