i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
