Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
