The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
