So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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