I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
