Your face is a jimmy john
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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