My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
