The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
