this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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