I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
