Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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