so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
