I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
you made out with another girl for some wings
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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