Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
