all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
