I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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