The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think a kid would responsible me up
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
