There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
