would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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