Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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