I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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