yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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