I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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