i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
