Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
