The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
