i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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