why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
