i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
third nipple confirmed
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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