dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
