I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
