party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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