get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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