shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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