dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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