Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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