Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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