hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
