3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i drank out of a bidet.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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