Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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